"When the chief Shepherd shall appear, ye shall receive a crown of glory that fadeth not awayI Pet 5:4 And when the chief Shepherd shall appear, ye shall receive a crown of glory that fadeth not away. ." Thank God my chief Shepherd has again appeared. Last night the infernal spell was broken; the seven devils were exorcisedMark 16:9 ¶Now when Jesus was risen early the first day of the week, he appeared first to Mary Magdalene, out of whom he had cast seven devils. Luke 8:2 And certain women, which had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities, Mary called Magdalene, out of whom went seven devils, . My dear wife arose in the strength of her understanding and aided me in driving them out. Indeed I know not if I could have done it without her aid. I have been most lovingly protected and have everythingAs Written:every thing to be thankful for. Yet for days I have been crying out from the belly of hellJonah 2:2 And said, I cried by reason of mine affliction unto the Lord, and he heard me; out of the belly of hell cried I, and thou heardest my voice. and have been reviling God. After the devils went out I took up the precious volumeEditorial Note: Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy and somewhat of the old Light came, whereas for days it was a stone to me.
So far as I can, I unsay the arrogant, dictatorial, cruel words of that letterEditorial Note: See 033A.13.034.. It was not mine. It was the devil's, but I should not have permitted myself to become his amanuensis. Would that I could withdraw the stab it gave you.
I did disobey your explicit orders, emphasized and made as
plain to me as possible. I did betray you in
letting a copy of your addressEditorial Note: Mary Baker Eddy’s address to the World's
Parliament of Religions at The World's Columbian
Exposition in Chicago, Illinois. go into the newspapers' hands.
The trust was a sacred one, and it was violated. I had said basely; but
to my sense the element of baseness was not in it, for I then justified my action,
but I
now see that it was wholly unjustifiable, for the more plausible and specious the
argument the more I should have been on guard and should have resisted.
I yielded, and no one of your students is to blame for my
weakness. Let me bear it as I should. I had the instructions; no one else. I have been weighed in the balances and
found wantingDan 5:27 TEKEL; Thou art weighed in the balances, and art found wanting. . I have
proved an unfaithful stewardLuke 16:1 And he said also unto his disciples, There was a certain rich man, which had a steward;
and the same was accused unto him that he had wasted his goods. Luke 16:2 And he called him, and said unto him, How is it that I hear this of thee? give an
account of thy stewardship; for thou mayest be no longer steward. Luke 16:3 Then the steward said within himself, What shall I do? for my lord taketh away from
me the stewardship: I cannot dig; to beg I am ashamed. Luke 16:4 I am resolved what to do, that, when I am put out of the stewardship, they may receive
me into their houses. Luke 16:5 So he called every one of his lord’s debtors unto him, and said unto the first, How much owest thou unto my lord? Luke 16:6 And he said, An hundred measures of oil. And he said unto him, Take thy bill, and
sit down quickly, and write fifty. Luke 16:7 Then said he to another, And how much owest thou? And he said, An hundred measures
of wheat. And he said unto him, Take thy bill, and write fourscore. Luke 16:8 And the lord commended the unjust steward, because he had done wisely: for the children
of this world are in their generation wiser than the children of light. Luke 16:9 And I say unto you, Make to yourselves friends of the mammon of unrighteousness; that, when ye fail, they may receive you into everlasting habitations.
Luke 16:10 He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is
unjust in the least is unjust also in much. Luke 16:11 If therefore ye have not been faithful in the unrighteous mammon, who will commit to your trust the true riches? Luke 16:12 And if ye have not been faithful in that which is another man’s, who shall give you
that which is your own? Luke 16:13 ¶No servant can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other;
or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and
mammon. . I was not able to stand the first real test to
which I was put. I should not again be entrusted with responsibility until I have
through patience and humiliation, through works meet
for repentanceActs 26:20 But shewed first unto them of Damascus, and at Jerusalem, and throughout all the coasts
of Judæa, and then to the Gentiles, that they should repent and turn to God, and do works meet for repentance.
, proved my trustworthiness. Do with me as you think best. I
ought to be retired to the lowest rung of the ladder,
and be made to do my work over again until I can stand. I see clearly how I have wronged
and misjudged you. You cannot forgive me. I must work out my own forgiveness. What
can I
do to set you right? Ought I not publish in the Journal the whole transaction and show how I violated
your instructions? Will you permit me to? Had I obeyed, none of
the trouble would have occurred. Your copyright would have been protected, I would
not
have been placed in a false position by being set up as the leader and author of your
address, and you would not have been wronged by the attempt to crowd you out. May
God
help me to profit by the terrible lesson.
And now comes your message to the field, the words of forgiveness out of the great heart of Love. This is almost too much for me. I need no other evidence of the infinity of Love. Had it been possible, I should have separated myself from Love in my mad revilings. I cannot now say more