It is impossible for me to decide todayAs Written:to day that I will study as I have been unable to see about the means of payment as yet, and I feel unwilling to decide that I cannot, until As Written: untill I make some effort to obtain the money, my husband says if he had the required sum to give me he would do so gladly & I know he would, and when I was with you I had no doubt but that I should be able to raise half the sum but, it couldn't come at a worse time for us as there is, a fire insurance policy of five years to be paid for. & Winter's As Written: Winters coals bill to be paid so all the ready money must go in another direction. If I must give up this opportunity, and it should prove the last, I've no doubt it will be all for the best. althoughAs Written:altho' another great disappointment. If there was a good Metaphysician As Written: Metaphyscian nearer than BostonEditorial Note: Boston, Massachusetts I should feel a little less desirous of studying but as it is I feel that it is not pleasant to be without help (in case of sickness) near. One year ago I was a despairing invalid, took no pleasure or delight in anythingAs Written:any thing, today I did a large washing and feel no more tired than one naturally expects to, and I feel I owe it to Metaphysics. And I have a strong earnest desire to know & understand the principle that has raised me from despair to enjoyment. but if I cannot do so now I will try & wait patientlyAs Written:patienlly & cheerfully until As Written: untill I can do so. If the one I ask does not think best to help me, I shall make a great effort to lay aside the sum and then study if the opportunity is offered.

If the others are all ready do not delay for me as it is so doubtful, but I will write you again decisively within a day or so.

If I should study and be able to do anythingAs Written:any thing would I be able to do for myself & family in case of sickness without help? Did I understand you rightly that the sum named covered all the expense? Is there anythingAs Written:any thing about the scienceEditorial Note: Christian Science or practice that could in any way alienate in the slightest degree my husband & myself if both should not study? I cannot think that it could be possible for anythingAs Written:any thing to separate As Written: seperate my husband & myself but death as perfect confidence As Written: comfidence exists between us and a mere knowledge that I knew something he did not would not trouble him in the least.

Please excuse haste & mistakes as I have to write hastily at a late moment to send as I agreed to.

I have a strong desire to go and talk with you instead of sending this letter but economy says no.