It seems that I have lost you at last- That you have made your final decision against me- and refuse to see me again, and there is nothing left for me to do but submit to your decree-
I thought I would at first vindicate As Written: vindicat my Moral character, and prepared a letter for your Father's perusal- but on more mature deliberation, and knowing that you had become dissatisfied with my Disposition and wished- yes had already irrevocably dismissed As Written: dissmissed me, I concluded to withhold As Written: withold all I had written, and pursue As Written: persue my heretofore uniform practice, that is let slander alone till it dies of itself, which it invariably has done heretofore, and will in this instance; I am perfectly Ignorant of what I am charged with, and shall probably never take the trouble to ask- I may suffer a little in my business by it, but have no fears on that account l shall probably have as much as I want- Otherwise I have none to please As Written: pleas now- but I will Just say that I could bring to the rescue As Written: riscue of my moral character overwhelming testimony, of the best quality, from those who have long known me even from Infancy, and that is all I design to say on the subject now- I went to your house yesterday with a large bundle of written papers for you, but did not find you at home, and afterwards changed my mind, and concluded not to give them but simply acquiesce in your final Decision-
I would here say that circumstances over which I have not entire control have prevented my leaving town this week, or at least till the last, and if you wish, I can make your teeth, if you will come immediately, so as to give me time to order what is wanted in the case in time to receive it and complete the work
Sanbornton BridgeEditorial Note: Sanbornton Bridge is now known as Tilton, New Hampshire.
New HampshireAs Written:N.H.
As written 9 o'clock As Written: oclock Journal
[*]Archival Note: The following is a variation of the poem “To her who can best understand them” by Lord Byron.
Like a clankless chain enthrallingAs Written:enthraling,
Like the sleepless dreams that mock,
Like the frigid ice-drops falling;
From the surf-surroundedAs Written:surf surrounded rock:
Such the drear and sickening feeling
Thou hast caused this heart to know,
Stabbed me deeper by concealing
From the world its humbling woe-
Once it fondly, fondly, called thee
All that fancy deemed divine
Then it honored and esteemed thee
As an idol and a shrine!
Yet when my lone life is over,
Should thine own be lengthened long
Thou mayest then alone discover
By thy feelings all my own