Dec. 19' 1886.
You will, no doubt, be surprised on receiving this from me, yet you need not be for I have known of you most three months now, and feel so well acquainted with you, because of the good work your discoveryEditorial Note: Mary Baker Eddy’s discovery of Christian Science. has done for me, that I do notAs Written:donot have the least hesitancy in addressing you. No one knows how much unnecessary As Written: unneccessary suffering I have endured.
I met Mrs. Emma Bean and her Sister-in-law- Kattie, in October– of courseAs Written:ofcourse you know they are the ScientistsEditorial Note: Christian Scientists here (in Kansas City) they are doing a grand work. Many people here and elsewhere are being healed through their instrumentality. I can never reward them for the work they have done for me.
I was not able to sit up all day, when I first met them– since then I have been working all day and part of the night. Mrs. Behan As Written: Bean gave me my first treatment. Since then latter part of October, Miss Kattie has been treating me. She is a very lovely young lady, and seems very devoted to the scienceEditorial Note: Christian Science. Words cannotAs Written:can not express how thankful I feel to them and to you the founder of this blessed truth. I do notAs Written:donot understand it– but I long to know all there is to know about it. I have been a member of the church (Congregational) for eight years, yet it has never been able to satisfy my longings after truth. When I was quite a child I had the greatest desire to solve the mystery. Was devoted to the church and was happy in doing its work. Though it had no ability to heal me.
I was born in sinPs 51:5 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me. different from most people, which has made me ill from childhood. No one understands me. I therefore stand alone. When I was about sixteen years of age, I related my sin to the pastor of our church at that time, I thought then that everyoneAs Written:every one who professed to be Christians were really endeavoring to live as became their profession. I found this pastor to be a woolf in sheep’s clothingMatt 7:15 ¶Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. – Mrs. Eddy as far as I know now it will take me the rest of my life to live above my early impressions through that professed disciple As Written: deciple of Christ– my life has been blighted all through him, whom I. thought was perfection, until I found him out through a very sad experience. It makes me almost tremble now, when I think of all his infamous actions.
I do admit that I was a willful credulous child– believed everything anyone would tell me. My father died when I was quite young, he was one of the smartest living men. My Mother died when I was in trouble with this man; since that time I have been standing with my God and fighting my enemies, for I am determined that shall not be put me down. I have enjoyed more peace in the short time I have been in the science than As Written: that in all the rest of my life.
I had no peace to speak of in the church because it never relieved me of my sin. I sought the church because I longed to be relieved from the bondage without having to tell anyone about it.
I write comparatively As Written: comparetively plain to you Mrs. Eddy, because I believe you can understand my situation exactly.
I have never submitted to my nature. But would have to this supposed minister if some unseen hand had not snatched me out of his hands and away from his influence. When I first met him I was nearly beside myself with striving to live above my sin– for I was always determined it should not overcome me. This man I speak of was married and over 40 years of age. I am a young girl of 23 yrs. and past, but my experience has been so dear, that I feel as though I'm about 40. Ever since I could remember, I have the greatest desire for an education, but I have not been able, previous to my knowledge of the science, to do anything but fight to live a virtuous life. I would not even submit to marriage because my whole desire was to improve my mind.
Since my knowledge of the science I have been spending all my time on Shorthand with the expectation of becoming a StenographerAs Written:Stinographer. I am succeeding nicely. Still Mortal mind tempts me so I can scarcely do anything at times— Mrs. Eddy, I do long to be entirely redeemed from this bondage, and I relate parts of my life to you that I may find a true friend – for I am in need of one.
I expect to study the Science just as soon as I get through with my shorthand and get in a position to maintain myself, as it is impossible for me to do so now. I have not spoken as plainly to the Scientists here as I have written to you for the reason that As Written: the I have never been prompted to do so. I must know more of this science, for in it is my life and peace.
Mrs. Eddy, if it is possible will you write me what I must do and how I must study in order to become As Written: becom familiar with this truth? I long to help others as I have been helped.
Miss Behan As Written: Bean gave me the Historical Sketch and the Defense of Christian Science. I have read them both and like them very much, and thirst for more food. I have not procured a Science and HealthEditorial Note: Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy because my means are so limited. I often could cry because I have not one, for I know If I were not so mortally minded, I would not have to want for one so long.
I'm not happy nor will I be till I solve this beautiful truth. For I long to get higher and higher and live above this carnal mind– then I know I will be free from this bondage, which keeps As Written: keekps me from being the woman I otherwise would be. When I told Miss Behan As Written: Bean last week that I intended to write you and tell you what the science had done for me, She said I could not give her a nicer Christmas present– seemed so delighted.
I have a very dear Brother, Mrs. Eddy, who has been most kind to me in all my trouble, yet does not understand me. He sent me to Canada and kept me there for 16 months. to see if that would not relieve me, but my health, although As Written: athough I was under one of the best physician's As Written: physicians care for a year while there, was made but very little better.
I returned home and remained As Written: remaind with my sister for a while then my brother sent me west, remained there 10 months. Was under a very good physician's As Written: physicians care nearly all the time I was there. Returned here the latter part of Aug. not yet able to sit up all day. You know from your own experience I am sureAs Written:shure, Mrs. Eddy, how grateful As Written: greatful I feel and how anxious I am to know all the truth.
It is the greatest relief not to be doctoring all the time. I would like to spend every moment now in studying the science, but my circumstances renderit impossible. I want very much just as soon as I possibly can to meet you and learn at your feet as Mary did at Jesus'esLuke 10:38 ¶Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house. Luke 10:39 And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard his word. .
I close with my unspeakable thanks to you for all your discovery has done for me, and unbounded love to you whom I believe to be God's chosen One. Please excuse this letter, Mrs. Eddy, wherein it needs it. And help me for Christ's sake.