The last twice you were here I felt most emphatically your unspiritual condition but I lovedyou and had not the grace to take up the my crossMatt 16:24 ¶Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. to and tell you of it.

Also I cannot now bear this cross, ( carry it) as in times past. I do not feel equal to it or that it is my duty. I have done this and you must now do your work. The chemicalizationEditorial Note: "Chemicalization" is a term used by Mary Baker Eddy to refer a temporary stirring of symptoms or process of "fermentation" as errors of various types are being destroyed. of the Truth I tell is too much for me now.

After you left I and since, I and I have had too much muchAs Written:much on hand. More than God sends you know what I mean dearest. Because of this I write, do not come again till you have so filled all your leisure with prayer and watching that you are ready with oil in your lamp for the bridegroomMatt 25:1 Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom. Matt 25:2 And five of them were wise, and five were foolish. Matt 25:3 They that were foolish took their lamps, and took no oil with them: Matt 25:4 But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps. Matt 25:5 While the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept. Matt 25:6 And at midnight there was a cry made, Behold, the bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet him. Matt 25:7 Then all those virgins arose, and trimmed their lamps. Matt 25:8 And the foolish said unto the wise, Give us of your oil; for our lamps are gone out. Matt 25:9 But the wise answered, saying, Not so; lest there be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to them that sell, and buy for yourselves. Matt 25:10 And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came; and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage: and the door was shut. Matt 25:11 Afterward came also the other virgins, saying, Lord, Lord, open to us. Matt 25:12 But he answered and said, Verily I say unto you, I know you not. Matt 25:13 Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh. This I leave – to you Dont come next Saturday. Every moment of our time here is needed to be given to prayer and watching and Clark'sEditorial Note: Possibly William Clark too. Oh I hope you see this necessity.

As ever the same loving Mama towards Benny – and if I could do as I desire it would be to send for you. But my experience is so far from others you must not think hard of this will you dear one?